My Foreign Nation

How are airports real?

I have adapted quite well to the life of a frequent flyer. I can have my shoes, belt and pockets emptied in less than seven seconds, and can have my laptop out of my bag in one fluid motion. I know which lines will be the quickest (I’m almost George Clooney in Up in the Air).

Quick side note, I had a pocket knife in my backpack for the last two months and was somehow able to get past four security checks before I realized it was in my bag. I checked it today but that doesn’t necessarily make me feel safe.

One thing I still am having trouble adjusting to is my general assumption that airports are not real places.

I know they are “actually” there but the idea of an airport still boggles my mind.

How can a place be completely void of social norms?

I’ve noticed in an airport no outside rules apply. If you want a cocktail at 7 in the morning in the real world people would judge you and assume the worst, but here in an airport 7 a.m. cosmos are not only accepted but encouraged by the number of bars in each terminal.

I watched a kid at 8:30 in the morning down a double cheeseburger and large fries. Outside the airport not allowed, but in the time void known as an airport completely allowed.

People are curling up for bed on the floor and running indoors. Where else in the world would this be allowed? Even for children.

Airports have their own pharmacies, restaurants and shopping. An airport is a giant flea market but without the stigma associated.

One big factor that has helped me conclude airports are not real places is the currency exchange. I’m not talking dollars for Euros type of exchange but instead dollars for goods exchange. Something about airports and the subculture that exists in an airport makes it completely acceptable to pay $9 for a Big Mac. In the real world this mark up would not be tolerated but no one bats an eye.

I nearly bought an iPad today. I have no money but since in the airport world iPads and electronic devices are sold in vending machines; I assume they are the same prices as an average bottle of soda (minus the $3 mark up on goods in an airport).

Appreciation for this world must be understood however. Although airports are overpriced free-standing countries, they are somehow continuing on the road of success. Visitors are okay with paying top dollar in this land.

The ground can be a welcome relief to a long day and terrible flight.

Airports don’t judge someone for wanting a cheeseburger at 9 a.m. nor do they judge you for that PSP purchase out of the Best Buy coke machine.

It’s weird that airports exist but somehow everything is understood and no one asks questions about pricing or societal norms here because all is good in the true land of the free.